INT: A’ PRODUCTION OFFICE
Open inside a production office. There is a big A on the wall. A broad shouldered director with a mane of brunette hair is seated in a chair, facing a TV, screening a reel. All we see is his flowing, long locks as he screams in disgust at the work. Jeff Labbé is coiled up in a corner of the office, crying, ashamed.
A Director (FROM BEHIND)
No no no no no no no no no! No! No no no no no no no no no no no no no! No! No fucking way!
Jeff grabs the phone fumbling as he dials.
A Director (CON’T)
No fucking way, no fucking way, you take me for a ripe fucking cunt! No, no, no, no…
INT. SONNY LONDON
The office is decorated for the holiday as the gang of Fredrik, Vaughan, Tomas, Sarah and Helen celebrate the season and exchange gifts. Rane intense and extremely focused prepares some treats, he appears to be attempting to squirt cheese whiz rabbits onto crackers.
TOMAS
Hurry up Emil, we’re dying to see this.
RANE
Do we have any more Cheese-whiz? Ha!
Emil springs out of the bathroom wearing nothing but his boxers and a pink pair of hunting socks pulled up beyond his knees. He strokes the warm wooly fabric.
VAUGHAN
Those are fucking fantastic, de rigeur baby.
EMIL
Thanks Helen.
HELEN
You’re welcome honey.
Fredrik tears open his gift, which is a new fluffy coat made of ludicrously fluffy hair. Fredrik quickly puts it on…
The phone rings as Fredrik answers.
FREDRIK
I love it… Hello, Sonny.
INT: A’ PRODUCTION OFFICE
JEFF
Fredrik, it’s me, Labbe. I showed him the stuff and he’s freaking out, you gotta get me out of this fella.
FREDRIK (OC)
OK, I will see you for a minute, but I need a favor.
JEFF
What is it?
FREDRICK (OC)
I got Helen in the Secret Santa and I blew it…Can you get something for me?
JEFF
But Fredrik I spent all my money just to fly here and meet you guys.
FREDRICK (OC)
If you do this I will consider your work.
JEFF
OK, I’ll see you soon. Bye.
Jeff hangs up the phone, stands, wipes the shame from his eyes and walks over towards the director, who is still yelling, watching the reel play out. Jeff approaches, and begins gently fondling the A’ directors long flowing brunette hair. Jeff notices a large collection of works by Michelangelo Antonioni sitting on the desk. He looks at the agitated thrusting hair and then again at the Antonioni collection. Jeff’s eyes dart back and forth between the two.
A director
No, no, no. Who do you think you are? King of the castle? Cock of the walk? You fucking…
CUT TO BLACK:
This program has been interrupted. Contents may not be suitable for younger viewing audiences.
INT: SONNY LONDON
The gang of Sonny London, now along with Jeff, are all sitting on the floor finishing up a Christmas Carol. They pass around a platter of crackers topped with cheese-whiz. Helen passes as she is sad, feeling rejected, having not received a gift. Jeff behind his back, slips Fredrik the box
FREDRIK
Helski, did you think I forgot you?
HELEN
No…yes..
Fredrik hands Helen the gift as a bright smile gleams across her face.
She rips open the package. She pulls out a beautiful, flowing, long, brunette ‘wig’. She marvels at it’s natural lushness. Helen’s eyes swell up with tears of joy as she puts on the glowing head of hair. She begins to dance…
Helen nods and twirls around in her new locks of love. In a gesture of gratitude Fredrik shakes Jeff’s hand. Fredrick notices it’s slightly stained red in color.
FREDRIK (QUIETLY TO JEFF)
Nice bananas, thanks
JEFF
Sure.
FREDRIK
What you got on your hand there?
JEFF,(in a surreal Macbeth type moment, Jeff shrugs)
PAINT
FREDRIK
Jeff, won’t you join me at the piano?
(Jeff, in suppressed jubilation punches his stained fist into his palm)